Expect the Unexpected,,

Good Attitude, Good life,,,

2011-09-01T00:22:00.003+07:00

1. Be knowledgeable
2. Be wise
3. Exploit your ability
4. Adaptable
5. Maintain positivity, and good mental state

6. Believe in God

The Girl Who Marked The Expectations

2011-08-16T22:19:00.006+07:00

maybe I am just this kind of man... who just want to conquer, but won't keep.

Keep chasing the wrong, cos the wrong are the most exciting.. Cos impossible.

Impossibility means exclusivity.. Not for everyone. Only the confident will spend the effort.

Impossibility means very special...

Impossibility means..... that's expendable, once it became too tiring, too easy or not too gorgeous again.

Impossibility means you can get another chance..

Impossibility means, if it's failed, than it is supposed to be..

Sounds great. But... It's impossible....

Commitment for me, Is,,,

2011-05-22T10:08:00.004+07:00

Jumlah manusia di Bumi ada berapa? sekitar 5 milyar. Yang perempuan sedikit lebih banyak dari laki laki.. Berarti sekitar 2.8 milyar.

Di jakarta saja yang ada orang di setiap sudut-nya, di gang2 sempit dan lorong apartemen, jumlah penduduknya gak lebih dari 10 Juta. Padahal Jakarta itu luas. Lebih luas daripada Liechtenstein.

Dari 2.8 milyar perempuan di bumi, aku yakin ada perempuan lain yang jauh lebih baik daripada kamu. Lebih cocok sama aku, lebih menyenangkan, lebih cantik, lebih lucu, lebih pintar, lebih nyambung, lebih sesuai selera... Tapi apa iya aku mau menyisir 2.8 milyar wanita.. Menyisir satu region di jakarta saja tidak mungkin.

Karena aku sama kamu sekarang, maka buat aku kamu lah yang terbaik.. kalo kamu bukan yang terbaik, maka itu kewajiban aku buat bikin kamu jadi yang terbaik. Karena hidup adalah proses, bukan hasil.

Hope you'll think the same, and will strive for me, and then be my best.... Or at least, try for it

Marketing : Politics,,

2010-12-29T08:50:00.006+07:00

Hair shampoo, from all kind of brands, no matter how to seems different they are, the main ingredients are always the same.. The differences is, if there is any, are very small, far from significant. So what can make us pick brand A rather than Brand B in the supermarket?? The answer is very simple: their marketing strategies.. The packaging of the products, the TV commercial that we've seen, the discount that they offer, the celebrities that they endorse, etc. Maybe we're rarely realize this, but the proof is clear. only very few people have an objective choice, who really see the composition of the products and if it is really fits to what they need.

Small things for shampoo, cos if we choose the wrong products, we can easily change. but how if that marketing strategies is also applied in politics, in democracy??
How if candidates are markets themselves with nice TV commercials, good looks, "discounts", and using celebrities to endorse them..? Most common people are naif in politics, only minorities who really have deep knowledge and cares about it. The marketing strategies that the candidates use, are very likely can effect the voters. So, what is "democracy" then, if people did not choose the leader that can represent their visions, but only choose the one with the "nice commercials" and "discounts"?
Or is it already happened??

Art is Emotions,,,

2010-10-13T21:42:00.011+07:00

Art is abstract, could only be feel and sense.. Immaterial and unexplained, but by emotion. Emotions is in mind, but it's somewhere else deeper. Good art touches visual or phonetic perception, but great art penetrates deeper trough emotions...

Good writer tells stories, Great writer creates ambience and atmosphere..
Seno Gumira writes afternoon and and sunset

Good singer follows tones and pitch, Great singer express feelings..
Chris Carraba sings deception and sentiment

Good painter create composition, Great painter create sensations...
Van Gogh paints starry night

Good movies captures moments, Great movies captures senses..
Fight Club images dissatisfactions and expectation

So Long, So Long,,,

2010-10-11T21:56:00.004+07:00

She is summer,
curly hair, happy and excited face that hides deep and meaningful thought.. Like walks down under the afternoon sun

She is monsoon,
shiny skin and dark hair, casual talks and flows free, logic that blankets emotion.. Like Sunday morning ride with soft music

She is winter,
sweet smile, soft posture and low profile that covers determined vision.. Like an evening in the sidewalks

She is the desert,
fragile and following, but hides toughness under the flowing sands.. Like bicycling in an empty city streets

There's no perfect life,, Only perfect mind

2009-09-18T21:45:00.005+07:00

Some people think of how lucky I am to get the opportunity that most people in my society think that it is a privilege that only a few people can enjoy.
To be able to get a "work" directly even before my graduation day is one of the best of it. While most of my friends are have to wait months to get one. And even more, I have this work in another country. It is always recognized as a good achievement. And also with this opportunity I have a chance to travel and experience to a new and very exciting place every week.
I got a girl that I've been love so much in this more than 3 years, while -again- most of my friends are still doesn't even have a clue of where are their soul mate.
I got a family that is very supportive and seems like throughout the life it doesn't have any problem worth worrying for.
most of all.. I always generally feel happy and satisfied with my life
Well, until here, it seems like a perfect life.. but is it??

Recently one of my best friend is complaining about her life. She said that her life is a misery.. She got a job, but doesn't really enjoy because she feels that she can't fit with the people there and the payment is also unsatisfactory. She want to quit but can't, because she already signed a contract that noted that if she quit she had to pay a big amount of money to the company.
She also said that in this new city she can't find a "real" friend. She said the lifestyle and way of thinking are already very different. In here she is very far from her family and friend that really understand and care about her.

Until here I actually found out that all her problem is actually are also my problem here.
Like the problem to fit with the people in the company.. the payment.. can't quit the job... different lifestyle and way of thinking... far for friend and family that care about me...
And even, if I think about that, actually I got deeper problem with all that. If she says about difficulties to adjust with the new lifestyle. Then my problem is should be harder.
I can't ever get used to people talking very loud like shouting each other every time, I experience a bunch of stupid cultural misunderstanding that you wouldn't even believe, the "straight to the face" and sometime harsh comment from my boss if I made a mistake in my work. I also faced communication problem in every single day I live here. I have to take a very crowded bus every time I come back from office. Have to get used to the -sometimes strange- taste of Indian food, have to take care of all my daily needs of my own, don't know how to find stuffs and other things that I need. To be very far from my beloved, and my family, and loads and loads of other stuffs..

But well, I never even dare to think that my life is a misery.. I don't want to think about the bad thing. I always focused on my achievement, and the nice and exciting new experience I got here. If I compare the good and bad experience, maybe I will suffer and cry all the time. So, actually that's exactly is the point. Of how to highlight the good things, and to buried the bad things.

Kids are happy because they're think happy.. :D

Because life is great. It is a very big waste if we only think about the worst part and don't take the best part of it. I am 200% sure that there is always something great that we can be grateful about.
So, for people who think their life is a misery.. I just want to say that it is just the state of mind that determine whether you are happy or not. So, just decide that you are happy, and then be happy!!! :D

The Only Thing to Fear,,, (is Fear Itself)

2009-08-18T21:51:00.010+07:00

Sometimes when I remember of how is my 2 months preparation before I go here in New Delhi, it's feels like really over-reacted now. But well, it's understandable, because this was my first time to go abroad. Without knowing anything of how is the condition and the people of this country, without any relatives or friends, without any backup plans if there's something wrong with flights, the company, or with the place that I'll stay. By that time, I remember that I'm so worried about everything.. Or to be more precise: I feel fear about all the "going to India for 5 months" things.

Now I've been here in New Delhi for 3.5 months.. And seeing what I am now, seems like there's nothing more to worried about in this country. Yes, maybe it was really difficult for me at the first month, but I really feel like home now. I can laugh at my unreasonable fright before and can really enjoy my time here. And so once again I've found my comfort zone.
To me those experience of once feel afraid, and then realize that I have conquer the very things that make me afraid, is really priceless. It is one of the greatest impact that I get from this "journey".
Right now, inside myself, I can feel that I have a lot more stocks of courage and confidence to face anything. So, next time If i'm feel afraid or worried about the uncertainty of the future that we can't predict. I can remember this moment and realize that actually the only things to fear is fear itself.. There's no reason to step away if we didn't face the problem yet!!
No one can predict the future.. So what?? just drive on it!

And in a few days I will have my first Ramadhan here by myself. Am I feel worried about that?? seems like not at all. I know that I will have a lot of difficulities just to keep my fasting 'on tracks', but I even kind of expected and feel glad and happy about this. Because I believe it can increase and thickening my religious life. I also hope that in this precious moment I can show my grateful feeling to God whose been give me a great challenge, experience and help me with all the difficulities in this life. I hope.

Existance,,,

2009-07-31T22:35:00.013+07:00

It's always hard to understand a people who doesn't believe in God or any religion if we are ourselves are a believer.
In the opposite, I also believe that it will be hard for people who doesn't believe in God or any religion to understand people who live by the religion.

Well, but life's goes on.. God, doesn't need anything from the mankind. If God wants to be prayed and worshiped, then He can made all mankind as a faithful believer..
- But He did not - He wants us to search for the truth. To understand. And then believe. So we can worshiped Him by our own will. Not just because it is something that we have to do.

"Ikhlas". As the highest level in a human existance

People Perception and The Point of View,,

2009-07-18T11:57:00.010+07:00

Yesterday I have a chat with my friend. He is Colombian, and we talked about Che Guevara. In the International point of view, we saw that Che Guevara is a revolutionist, a great man that do a lot of great things. But for him, Che Guevara is a rebel, a killer(he killed a lot of people there), or even a terrorist(he even stated out that his lecturer said that Che Guevara is the biggest terrorist in South America). Well, that is really new to me.. but, yeah I accepted his point of view. Because I know he is the one who is really experienced it and learned about it from both aspect. From their government point of view, and from international point of view. While I just read from Wikipedia. So my knowledge is really narrowed and un-balanced.
These things also reminded me about the conflict in Timor Leste. When i was a kid, in an elementary school, I learn about that conflict.. And of course our textbook that we use there in school are made by Indonesian government. So when I learn about the Timor Leste, I saw that Indonesian government are very kind and generous towards them. I read that before Indonesian government came, Timor Leste is the last nation in 1970's that still suffer from colonialism. And then our government came there, and liberate and develop the region. I think that time i agree with the term "liberate", because I saw that there's nothing there before we came. The land is not good enough to grow crops, there's no irrigation system, the people mostly are uneducated(the literacy rate is just 7%), other infrastructure there are also undeveloped.
After Indonesian government came, we give a huge amount of money to build roads, schools, hospitals, irrigation system, and give fund for local people to study in Surabaya or Jakarta, but we receive nothing from them. We don't gain profit, because there's no important commodities that came from that region. There's no important natural resources that can be sold. Simply by that time, I just said that Timor Leste is suffered, and then we rescue and help them.
Only after the internet era came, I can learn by myself from a lot of other international sources that, in the International world, our image as a nation is drop because of this. They never use the terms "liberate". They said that Indonesia is "invading" Timor Leste. And by the process of invation, we killed a lot of local people, we use guns, and bomber plane to take control of the region. Hundred thousands of people are died in this process. And so, right now my point of view about Timor Leste and Indonesian government is changed. I agree that Indonesian government is indeed invading Timor Leste. But still, if we're looking from Indonesian Government point of view, they will still think that they're doing the good thing there also. And that's what makes the majority of Indonesian think: that we're doing the right thing there.
If it's the truth that we're so kind to them, so why d'they want to leave us??

Well, the main lesson that I can get from the story is that, if we want to know the truth, we can't just rely on one source of information. We have to see from each point-of-view. And then, we can make a judgement. If we just know from one side, then we don't have rights to decide where is the one who is right or wrong. Because it's the nature of human to said that their selves are the most right, the most knowledgeable, and wise. etc.

There's no guarantee in life,,,

2009-06-30T23:09:00.008+07:00

One of the most useful (and interesting) part when we're using facebook (or any other social networking site actually) is that we can re-connect to our old friend, see how are they doing now, and see what's the 'changes' they have been of. Lately, i met a lot of my childhood friend there.. some of them are friends that are a very2 close friend to me in it's time. I've been spend a lot of time with them, so that i can know them very well.
But then, after the nice re-meeting and re-intermezzo again with them, then i realized that some of them have unpredictably in the position that i was never expect they will be.. Like there's one of my friend who is doing very2 good at high school, but right now is still got difficulities even to finish their university study. One girl, who is just an average student in school, right now is in the top university abroad have started her master degrees. Another girl who was the best national test score holder in entire region when in the elementary school are not even continuing her study in university. And there's still more examples...
The most interesting part that i want to share here right now is that after realizing this fact, i can now conclude that there's no way we can predict our future only by looking our condition that we're in at the moment. There is no guarantee in life..
Like my last example above about that girl whose not continuing her study, she is doing really good in elementary school, win a lot of award, scored the best test result in the entire region, etc. By that time, all people will predict that she is the one that can go to the top school and universities, graduate easily, and can get a great job. But the fact is almost like random.. perfect grade in school can't guaranteed even a smooth university entry. And in the opposite, some people whose even doing really bad in both elementary school and high school (like me, for example.. :D) , will still got a chance to gain a good test result and get a ticket to a decent university.
Well, now we can say that life is indeed like a big game of gambling. There's no guarantee in life.. So, don't be cocky if you're now in any aspect are on a good position, because it can disappeared in no time if you're not aware. And also never feel bad if you're still on a bad position, because you still got an unlimited chance to climbed up.
All we can do and need to do is just "do the best in what we're in right now". We're still on a long journey of life.. we're on an unstable moment where everything is on the process to shaped. So, search and take every chances that comes to you, and use it as well as possible.
arghh... i think i've been involved in the "stalking" part

Been trough the worst,,,,

2009-06-18T01:34:00.007+07:00

Okay, i have a very special things to celebrate this month.. it's me and my girlfriend's 3rd anniversary. Well, i have to say that this thing is really2 special for both of us, because i realize that actually not many people can achieve this.. Being with her for this three years makes me feels that i've been trough on almost every "bad-thing-that-can-happened-in-a-man-and-woman-relationship". So that i think right now, there will be nothing left that can harm our relationship again..
Humm, let me review about this "bad-thing-that-can-happened-in-a-man-and-woman-relationship" one by one

1. She has been cheating on me.. once.
Actually after i found out about this, i was dumped her right away.. for about 10 minutes :) but somehow we can talk about it, and i forgive her.. and we agreed to not talk about this thing anymore (i don't even want to remember anything about this)

2. I've been cheating on her.. so many times :D.
Well, this is the basic problem for all couples in the world. We boys are always selfish.. it's in our basic instinct. Some said that boys always want to conquer everything.. After we got one, we will always want more. Maybe because we just curious with a new girl and want to get closer, or maybe because we are already hooked up with one woman for a long time, and just want to have another experience.. Yeah, i've been there too.. for so many times. But in the end, I will realize that this feeling is just temporary and i will always comes back to my girl that i am now.. because then we will found out that the things that we needed the most is the commitment and understanding from our partner. And I have got it all from her. So, what more can i expect..

3. We are so very very different from all aspect. really, we're opposites in almost everything.. :)
I've heard that the main reasons for a couple to divorced is because they are not matched for each other. But heyy, this is the one that makes life is so damn beautiful.. Because we are all different. What's the point of looking for a companion if in the end, we just looking for another "ourselves". The differences is something that can makes us "complete" each other..Very different in everything.. or we're just the best of our own worlds,,,

4. She doesn't goes well with some of my friend, and (i think) some of her friend also doesn't feel very comfortable if i'm around
well, no comment about this.. I have to admit that this thing is still not going so good.. but at least we're always try to be nice to everybody.. :)

5. Separated by distance... At the beginning we're just 3 hours apart. and now we're thousands miles away
Not really separated actually.. technology is always helps us.. we can still be in touch and at least can know whats happening in each other. There's a lot of people who can not stand the distance.. But if you already have a strong connection to each other. You will not even worried by this thing.

6. And still a lot of other things that i can't mentioned here....
Believe me, i still got much.. So, i'm really grateful that i still with her in this 3 years and after all this obstacles that comes in our way.

Sometimes we got a big obstacles, and some other time we got even bigger.. However, all of that will not harm us.. but in the other hands, it even makes us grow stronger. It makes us more mature as a couple. So, after all these 3 years of good and bad.. i hope we're already grew up and tough enough to keep movin on, and we will be just fine till the end.. :D

Why is Always India,,,??

2009-05-13T13:19:00.009+07:00

Why is always India...??? Hundreds of foreigner come to Delhi alone, on a vacation, to work, or to study. I'm feeling jealous when i recognize this.. Jakarta, Semarang, Bandung, Jogjakarta, Surabaya also got everything that a big city like Delhi got. Even somehow, in some aspect, big cities in Indonesia is better than Delhi. Like the weather, the cleanliness, the hospitality of the people, the big shopping mall and fancy restaurant. So, why is always India?? In the news, in the internet, in magazines, etc.. people always talk about India. Thousands of people from Europe, America and East Asia wants to go here, tons of international NGO and social organization donate for the development of India. In 2004 tsunami disaster, Indonesia is the country that suffers the most, but the amount of international donation that goes to India is a lot more compared to Indonesia. Everyman on this planet knows India but not Indonesia. Indonesia is the fourth most populist country, but when i said "Indonesia" to some people that asked me where i come from, some of them doesn't even now where it is located, or what is the capital!! Most of them said that i am the first Indonesian that they met. So, what gives???

They got metro rail here, but what?? a lot other also got that one too

The first thing i noticed is that there's a LOT of people speaking in English here. And they are not just English, but a perfect English, with nice grammar and chosen words. There is a huge number of scholar and smart guy also in Indonesia, but that doesn't guarantee that they can speak English. Maybe they wrote a lot of stories, essays, researches etc, but all in Indonesian.. So, that doesn't have any benefit to other people living in this planet!! in the other hand, Indian scholar always made their publication in English, and spread it to all over the world. Movies, stories, web posts, etc. There are thousand of news websites, tourism websites education websites etc. in Indonesia, but only a few are using English. so, how can we expect that the foreigner all over the world will know our condition here?? how can we expect them to come to study in Indonesian universities, if they don't know anything about the universities at all?? in the contrary, ALL Indian universities got their websites in English, and even they promote it to the whole world!

Learning from the beginning, makes a big differences

Maybe this language problem is just a small problems, but if we want to have our country recognized by the whole world, the first step is clear.. Publicize it!! and off course publicize it in English words.

Forgiving....

2009-04-26T22:46:00.001+07:00

To forgive means to forget,,,

What's so nice about this country,,,

2009-03-30T14:16:00.004+07:00

Pick any places in Indonesia, drive a few hours in any direction, and then you will find people speaking in a different languages, have a different culture and custom, eat different foods and drinks and sometimes even different appearances, behaviour and religion...
But all of them will share one similarities : kindliness, friendliness, honesty, simplicity and if you smile to them, they will certainly smile back to you with a deeper one..
deep smile shows honesty,,,
Maybe we're all already lived in this environment since birth, and most of us will not even realize how great is this blessing upon our country. For me too, i just realize it lately -when my time to leave Indonesia is approaching- that we all should be thankfull to our God, because He puts us in the most diverse nation on earth, that we can experience a culture shock with just a few hours away from home, learn every philosophy from each different culture, taste local foods and drinks, meet with a lot of interesting characters, feels different weather condition and so on.. See how much that we can get from this country alone.. but somehow we just never can feel satisfied.

Weirds happened,,,

2009-03-08T20:04:00.005+07:00

I just found this weird fact today, that actually i always did a blog post on the early days of the new month.. I've rechecked again all my blog post, and found that most of my post is written on 2nd, 3rd, 4th or 5th day of the month.. humm, maybe it doesn't have any meaning, or it's just a weird coincidence and you might think that there's nothing special about it.. but, this kinda thing(the weird, unexplained, or unlogical thing) is always excite me up a bit.. It can makes my head thinking and wondering out of way (which is could be good, especially because lately, my mind keep thinking in the same boring way..).. Could it be a sign that my mood or even creativity is affected by the lunar orbit?? or my biorithmic cycle that controls my spiritual quotions is on the peak position on the early month?? humm..

Anyway, still affected by this mistery-excited feelings i search trough the internet to find something about scientology.. just for your information, scientology is a new so-called religion (the weird one, but it became very popular after Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes declare themself that their religion is scientology), that beliefs that human minds is somehow inhabited by some alien spirit. And this spirit is not good to human, because it affected human's feeling, thinking, or way of life. So, the scientologist have some kind of a ritual to sucked up the alien spirit of human's body, to makes their mind returns to the original and pure state. Very weird right?? and if anyone would ask me what's the couse, maybe because this "religion" is declared by an author of science fiction novels. that's why..

But this scientology is somehow very popular now, and got a lot of follower.. Now the question is "How come, in any way, people will trust something that very clearly unrational like that, that comes from a science fiction novels author??" My best guess is that because people, how ignorant they are, is sometime will think about their existance.. like "what force is created them", "for what reasons", "is our life is being watch by some spiritual being". etc. And maybe, in the journey of searching the answer, they found the scientology, and suddenly feels very comfortable with it. Because in a lot of cases, the most comfort answer is sometimes by put a question to another person's shoulder and let them deal with it.

So, this case is can be seen like when in a class, your teacher asked something like "who finds america??" to you and, because you don't know the answer you just said "oh, don't asked me, ask Johny, he seems to know that.." Only, in this case, the question is like : "What is this force that created and look over to all of us??" and their answer is : "Well, don't asked me, ask the alien, they seems to know the answer".

A very relieving for some people. But yet, in the end, that such answer will not solve any problem at all.. because if human is created and looked over by the alien, then who created the alien??

or maybe it's so popular just because of Tom Cruise.. huff.. waddaya think??

Lost in Translations,,,

2009-03-03T19:53:00.005+07:00

I've been using a lot of english lately, thanks to AIESEC who invites me to join their project. In this last three weekends, i even had to use english almost all day long.. I always kinda confident with my english, but somehow those activities is reminds me too, that even tough i can communicate well, it still needs a whole lot more energy to me if i speaks English compared to if i speaks in Indonesian or Javanese. My brain getting tired of arranging, or searching some words that i want to say..

The problem is maybe because i still "think" with Indonesian or Javanese, it's like my brain cells is communicate to each other using those language.. For example, if some of the "bule" asked me "How's your day?" i will capture the question first, then there's like some part of my brain that understands English try to translate those words into the language that all part of my brain does understands (wich is Indonesian or Javanese), and after that, my brain can do the process of searching the approphiate answer from the question. But, those answer that my brain comes up with is -unfortunately- in Indonesian or Javanese too, so, then i have to make my part of the brain wich understands English to do the translation works again before i can opened up my mouth to responds to that question in English..

So, if i communicate in english it can be said that i use double amount of energy. Very-very unnefective and wastefull.. But, as some of you might have found out, that the problem is actually can be solved with a very simple way : "make all part of the brain to understand English". because if all part of my brain had understand English, then i can speak up directly to the "bule" of what i wanna say.. i don't need the translation process anymore. It will saves a lot of energy, and furthermore can increase my respond time too.. i can be spontanious even if i'm using English..

Then, how can i manage to train English to my brain?? Simply, by made "my brain cells" to communicate to each other by English all the time. You know, like when i'm humming, thinking, or wondering about something, i will use English now instead of Indonesian or Javanese. And i hope after several weeks doing these, all part of my brain will be fully acostumed to English, and doesn't need any translation process again.. Well, hopefully i can done that before the end of the next month.. ;)

Music is a Poetry Wich Have a Background Scenery Made From a Musical Instrument Composition,,

2009-02-05T22:38:00.005+07:00

this one is a poetry:
Carry this picture for luck, kept in a locket
Tucked in your collar, close to your chest
Make it a secret, shown to the closest friends
And meet me at quarter to seven
The sun will still shine then at this time of year
We'll head to the inlet, and we'll share a bottle there
(Carry This Picture - by. Dashboard Confessional)

And this one is a music :
--G---------------------C---------------A7
carry this picture for luck kept in a locket
-----------------D-------------------G7
tucked in your coller close to your chest
------------C-------------------A7-------D
make it a secret shown to the closest friends
-----G---------------------C
and meet me at quarter to seven
--------------------A7-------------------------D
the sun will still shine then at this time of year
-------------------G7----------------------A7------D
we'll head to the inlet and we'll share a bottle there
(Carry This Picture - by. Dashboard Confessional)

So, music is not just a bunch of people playing a musical instrument. To me, music is about how to express our feelings trough the lyrics and then try to imitate that feeling's situation with a musical composition. Music is a poetry. . a poetry wich have a background scenery made from a musical instrument composition.

Between The Palestinian, The Israeli, and The US,,,

2009-01-20T23:22:00.005+07:00

Israeli military agression has been going for more than ... days now. but yet, no one have come to solve or -at least- made any improvement to stop the conflict. You might think that what's hapened for Palestinian is very unfair.. But unfortunately, that is the reality,, any chances that Palestinian might have to stop the agression is somehow had blocked by the US.

just for your information, i'll show you some of the explanation why the world is seems to neglect Palestine :

Q : Why the United Nations(UN) can't do anything to stop Israeli military agression??
A : Because everytime UN wants to make a decission that will contradict with Israel, it will always "veto"-ed by US

Q : Why Arabian countries don't do anything to help Palestine??
A : Because the most powerfull Arabian countries like Egypt and Saudi Arabia are now allied with US. Iraq and Afghanishtan who have significant army are already teared up by the previous war. Iran is still suffering from a long term economic and weaponary embargo. While Hizbullah troops in Lebanon don't have any diplomatic power, and therefore don't have rights to commit an attack. Other country like Syria and Jordan might be vocals, but they don't have a sufficient economic and military power to confront with Israel.

Q : Egyptian has a history to defend Palestine from Israel military agression on the "Six Days war" and "Yom Kippur war". Why do they seems to be quiet and let all that bad things happened now??
A : Egypt is no longer ruled by Anwar Sadat.. Egypt present president Hosni Mubarak are now allied and have a very close relation with the US. US goverment is now spent not less than 2 billion USD per year as an aid to the Egyptian goverment to keep this "good relationship".

Q : Hosni Mubarak have ruled Egypt for more than 25 years now. And he was proven to betray his people by makes friend with the US. So, why Egyptian people still elect him as a president??
A : US always said that Egypt is a democratic country, and Hosni Mubarak is elected democraticaly. But the truth is not like that.. there's a big amount of evidence that proved that the election is rigged. Hosni Mubarak won because he have the money and power to supress the opossition. Therefore, he will always win the election. (US is shown a very clear example of a double standard here...)

Q : Saudi Arabia once embargoed it's oil supply to US and that has made US had a depression era without oil. Why Saudi Arabia doesn't use it's "oil power" again??
A : Oil market is not a free market. And US whose now consume more than 60 percent of world's energy is in control of the oil market and prices. Therefore a country like Saudi Arabia that depends it's income on oil alone, are very weak and vulnerable. If Saudi Arabia made a conflict with the US, it's main income resources can be troubled too.. in short: Saudi Arabia depends almost all of it's income from oil (it's second export is second hand furniture and electronics?!?! wheww), and the main buyer of oil is US. That's why Saudi Arabia doesn't want any trouble with it

Q : Why Indonesia doesn't do anything to stop Israeli military agression??
A : Almost the same thing as in Saudi Arabia.. Indonesia's main export market is with the US, while indonesia is only ranked 20th from all the US's economic partners. So, our bargain power is -unfourtunately- very very weak.. We can provoke our goverment to make a confrontation with US, but will we still think this way if we started to loose our job?? or if the comodities price are doubled???

huff, that's a hard reality, but that is the reality..
Well, what do you think?? is there any other chances? please.. feel free and don't hesitate to suggest, comment, or deny me...

How business is done !!!

2009-01-18T20:07:00.004+07:00

Well, actually it's never been my habbit re-post somethin.. but heyy, this jokes is really funny and inspires me, that i think everyone 'll have to read this..
enjoy :)

In That Case... OK!

One day, a father talks to his son
Father: "I want you to marry a girl of my choice."
Son: "I will choose my own bride!"
Father: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case... OK."

The next day, father approaches Bill Gates.
Father: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry !"
Father: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case... OK."

Finally, father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need !"
Father: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President: "Ah, in that case... OK .

Love means to commit,,,

2009-01-02T22:18:00.002+07:00

Few days earlier, my love-banged friend asked me a very classic question: "what is love's actually means??" Something that very cliche, but yet, no one can give an exact answer of that question. Everyone have their own oppinion.. and maybe, that is what makes love is so difficult for some people. When two people are in a relationship but had a different perception about love, then it will not going well.

Few years earlier, maybe i'd just can say i love you to anybody whose got an atractive appearence for me. But if love is that shallow, so why there's people who can stayed with his couple forever if his couple is not a physically or materially attractive? or even when a lot more better man is propose her over??

Like many other, i've been trough a lot of obstacle in every relationship i've had.. Some obstacles are too big.. sometimes it even can made me quit and gave up on it however hard i'd try to mantain. So now, as the time goes by, i can realize that actually the only thing that can bend a man and a woman together together in a relationship is not "the hang out together", "the funny stories", "the teasing to each other", "the shoulder to rely on", or all other good and bad times together, but the awareness about how he and her are commit to the same way. If they both are commit to their relationship, then there is nothing more to expect..

I believe in this enormous world, there's thousands of girls whose lot better and a lot more fits to me than my girl i'm on now. But, when everytime i'm on a relationship i still looked over a better person, then when is this going to be over? And if she thinks that way too, i don't have a chance to get her either.

So don't bother to complain with your couple's pluss' or minuss'. If you have think that he/she can be the one for you, so just go for it. And the most important thing: commit for it. Whatever will happened, you're in a relationship with him/her. There will be no such thing like don't fit to each other anymore.
And for me, that's what is love actually means.. a commitment to a relationship.

Social ride,,,

2008-12-18T23:58:00.006+07:00

I remembere when i attended the Opera software seminar a few weeks ago, the speakers (a web evengelist) said that the most visited website in Indonesia is friendster.com. almost 40% of Indonesians whose online, are log in to friendster.com. He shows his astonishment on why Indonesians can be so enthusiastic with social networking site.. One of the most logical answer that i can think that time is, because basically, Indonesian are a very social people. It can be seen in everyday life, especially in the rural area. They usually are very interested on what's happening on other people's life. So, when friendster arrives, i think some of that "way of life" is somehow also applied there. A lot of people wants to stay connected with the old friend, and wants to know what's happening, or what's the latest news about them..
For me (or everybody else like me) who have moved settlement, a social networking site is also like a social saver. Maybe we don't recognized it, but right now i can feel like if there's no site like friendster in that time, i maybe have already loose contact with all my highschool friends..
Right now, we also have a facebook..still less popular in Indonesia compared to friendster actually, but this site's member growth is amazing. Couple of months ago, when i asked about it, nobody have an account there, but now, everybody started to thinks that friendster is so out-of-date. Right now, we can see that almost everybody that likes social networking site, have a facebook. And they are logged in and updated everything in their facebook account almost everyday.. there's always something new in facebook nowadays. Otherwise, friendster is became more and more boring and less people are logged on. It started to loosing it's social value. Because What's the use of a social networking site if there's no people to socialize there?? So sorry to friendster, it's very usefull in it's time, but now, facebook is on the way.. i'm pretty sure that in less than a year, facebook will overwhelmed friendster as the most popular social networking site.
So, if your main reason to use friendster is to connect with all your friends and relatives, i think now is the time to grab up and moved. Because everybody are already (or will be) in facebook right now, and i'm sure you don't want to loose the train and left alone in the old shack..

my December(2),,

2008-12-08T12:04:00.003+07:00

There's no such thing like a dream that is too great.
One of my favourite books is "The Secret". Wich mention that the most important thing that you need to do to achieve everything you want is by "dream" it, "feel" it, and "be sure" that it will happen. Set a possible deadline, and stay focus!!
This year is terrible, but i don't wanna regret it. It's a bad history, and from that, i can learn something.. I've wasted my time..

the most important thing is what will happen next year. And i expect MUCH on it.

Something that i've planned to achieve on 2009:

Improve my TOEFL score to 590.........................................January 2009
Finish my thesis.........................................................February 2009
Get a foreign internship deal............................................February-March 2009
Go on an international internship.....................................April-May 2009
Start to search a job opportunity in a multinational company....September 2009
Get a job and enjoying my steady income..............................November 2009

Well, maybe it's dificult,, but surely it's not impossible. And I WILL achieve it.

my December,,

2008-11-29T21:22:00.003+07:00

It's December already..

I hate December. especially on this year.. To me December is always feels like a deadline for all the things i've planned to achieve in one year.

And this year, i still don't achieve anything.. even one..

This year have really spoiled me. I'm on my comfort zone..

Arghhh.. gotta STRUGGLE more and "get out" of this comfortness.

...
this is my december
these are my snow covered dreams
this is me pretending
this is all i need
... (Linkin Park - My December)

Been livin' for 22 years,,,

2008-11-18T22:12:00.009+07:00

Today is my 22nd birthday.. well, nothing special actually. Its just like any other day,, except the fact that i'm receiving more text messages today and some birthday gifts (heyy, being 22 doesn't mean that you stop receving birthday gifts, right? :))

First present is from my father. Like usual, he asked me first what i want for my birthday.. I just lost my flashdisk few weeks ago, so i said to my father that i think i need a new one. Then, he said "Okay, i'll send the money, just buy yourself whatever nice to you". Erghh... kinda tragic actually, but its okay, i always prefer to choose my own stuff. And you know what!? after i checked on some computer stores around campuss, i found out that now an 8 GB flashdisk is only cost Rp.155.000.. Its the same price with my old 2GB when i bought it about a years ago.

Second is from my Mother and sister,, They bought me this very nice perfume, a Hugo Boss's Soul. it comes in a very stylish packaging.. My sis describe the scent as "spicy" ?.?
hehe,, a very nice idea.. i'm not accostumed to use one actually, but maybe they think that i'm now too old to just using a deodorant spray.

The special gift is offcourse from my girlfriend,, :). She took a day off from her work and comes to Malang this morning just to meet me,, We spend the morning, the noon, and the afternoon together.. something that i'm rarely get nowadays..
Before i ride her to terminal to go back to Surabaya, i have a chance to take this cute pict when she act like a japanese girls wearing a kimono, hehe,,
heyy,, she IS look like a japanese girl right..

Last but not least is a surprise present from a stranger that i met in my english course at TBI yesterday. So, that day is my first day, and when we're having a lil' bit of chit-chat, he asked me where's my school!! So, he thinks that i'm a highschool student.. Hohohoho,,
Well, okay, that's not a present, it's just coincident. But a very weird coincident, because its happened just a day before my 22nd birthday.. So, i think i can take it as a present from my Protector. Alhamdulillahi Robbil'alamiin.. :)
Younger than my age?? ?.?

Sempai's pride,,

2008-11-05T20:02:00.005+07:00

This story began with my boss at CSN asked me to handle the adobe photoshop class. Heyy, i'm kinda newbie in graphic design too,, but OK, i still accepted it. I think this will give me a new point of view. It can force me to learn photoshop. And i'm feeling a little bored with all those programming things either.
The only problem is, that we in CSN still don't have any books or guidelines for this course's curiculum. So i gotta create it myself.
At first i'm very confused on how to create it.. I have a lot of books that have a lot of tips like how to use lasso tools, how to manipulate colors, how to separate channels etc. It's very nice and tidy, except a fact that actually after we read and practice on it, we still don't know how to create somethin'... So then i came up with these idea: "The best way to be good in somethin' is by doing it." So, i throw all those "how-to" books and started it with my own method. By give a small project every course meeting. Started with simple project and then improve the dificulities over time.
How's the result?? Well, i think it did it.. with practical method like that, after a course is finished, the students will be tough that they are not only just understand the photoshop's basic, but also feel like they have done somethin', -or in this case- have "design" somethin'.
Like in our 4th meeting. When i have to show them how to use a "texture manipulation tools" in photoshop like "Healing tool", "clone stamp tool", "dodge and burn tool" and "blur tool".

Instead of explain how to use those tools one by one, I make this picture enhancement project:
I have a nice oldman picture that i got from the internet, and with all those tools, i show them how to make the man on the picture looks "younger" and "brighter".

(Notice the wrinkles around the old-man's eyes, nose and mouth are gone)
Heyy, it works right.. With "directly" use those tools to create somethin', they have more understanding than just a theory. And off course it is a lot more fun.

Harmony in Chaos,,

2008-11-02T00:05:00.003+07:00

Today is the third day since the traffic light in ITN crossroads(next to Brawijaya University) is not functioned. Although it is located in one of Malang busiest road, but there's no one from the public office have fixed it.

I've passed the Sumbersari street that lead to ITN crossroad almost everyday. And i have to say that this is a very busy crossroad. In rush hour, almost certain a traffic jam will surely happen there.. All the road that lead to the crossroad are tiny, and only consists of two lines. But yet, there were thousands of people who passed those roads everyday. So, a long queue in the crossroad's traffic light is something very common there. Sometime, we even have to wait for three red light stops before we can pass the crossroad.

But then,, after the traffic lights is broke down, i just recognize that actually, without the traffic light, the road is became less dense, and passing the crossroad is faster now. We don't have to wait until the traffic lights turns green. All we have to do is just reduce speed when facing the crossroad, sometime gives an opportunity to other people and after that we can step on the gass again. That simple.
Yes, i have to admit that it looks kinda un-order and less neat there, but what the heck.. The main porpose of a road is to connect some place to the other. And the faster it can go, it will be better.

So, againts all odds, the traffic lights is on the contrary, will makes a traffic jam in the crossroad. And without it, it is far more swifter.. a harmony in chaos i suppose. I'm sure you'll know what i mean if you've passed that crossroad everyday (before and after the traffic lights is off)

There's no "we" anymore,,

2008-11-02T00:03:00.000+07:00

There's no "We" anymore. It's only "you" and "me"... After all these things "we"ve" been trough..

i don't like it either,, but what more can i say??

dead end,,

2008-10-27T19:03:00.001+07:00

i'm facin' a dead end right now.. it's not a very big problem actually. Like when i'm find any other dead end in the road,, there will always be 2 way to solve it.

first choice, is to make a U-turn and return from the starting point once again. It's more simple and safer option. the only problem is that this option will require more time,, especially when you've been drivin for a long time to get in your position right now. To make a U-turn will be a bad choice for someone who have a tight deadline.

second choice, is to keep goin' and find an alternative to go trough the dead end. Something like when your road is end up in a jungle and then you got off from vehicle and walk to emerge that jungle. It's very risky, need more effort to do and there's no guarantee that you'll find your destination. But, if you're already know in what direction your destination is. This will make a good option.

So, the choice is clear. the solution is right ahead. and the distination is waiting,, but still, this is always a hard decision..

No one know what will happen.. Well, I guess i just have to believe to my Protector, and maybe lay it like my old friend's sayin':: Puka puka (what will be, will be) :)

Good stress??,,,

2008-10-14T14:06:00.000+07:00

Ever feel that you got not enough time to finish your task? feel that there's no end line in the things you have to do? doesn't have time to do your favourite activity? or feel that time is chasin over you?

If you feel those everyday.. so there's a big chance you'll be stressed or even depressed in a few week. But then,, this modern lifestyle is always a hectic, busy and filled with a lot of things to do. So stressed out is now a common thing that happened in every man's life. It is now become something normal.

Most people still cosidered stress as a bad thing. But few days earlier, i found this very nice article in a magazine.. It says that stress is actually a very good thing if we can manage it.

Well, i can't write all of the article in here,, but somethin that i really noticed is that stress is actually can drive us to achieve a better result in our work. Because stressed or hectic people is more motivated and alerted in doing the task compared to people who are have more spare time. It also said that stressed people can utilise more potential that he/she may have to achieve the goal.
So.. just take it, do it all and don't be affraid with stress, people.. it "can be dealt with" and is usefull too..

BIG problem,,

2008-09-22T01:46:00.001+07:00

Oh my God, this is gonna be a BIG thing..

that is the first thing comes from my mind after "once again" my girlfriend have found me lie to her.
And it's the 3rd times i've cought lie to her for the same reason.

What makes me feel even worse is because actually, i don't even really need to lie. It's not a serious problem. I can just tell her the truth. And i'm sure she can understand with my condition.
But, i'm not doin' it... i skipped this "explaining to my girl" process and decided to tell her a fake story.

When i lie to her, i'm not feel like i am doing a very bad thing. But now,,after she found out the truth. I feel so much guilty about that. i wish i can turn back the time and fix my mistake..

Because eventough it is not a big lie. But in a man-women relationship, where to trust and openess to each other is a basic, lie is always a BIG problem..

Less than enough,,

2008-09-10T23:51:00.000+07:00

So tired but I can't sleep..

I can't remember since when this is happening to me...
maybe for this last couple of month, i can't sleep below late 1 o'clock no matter how tired or sleepy i am.

A lot of things to do yesterday. So, i was sleeping for only 4 hours within a day and yet this night i still can't rest my mind.
Now i began to think that maybe the only reason why i'm sleeping is just because my body doesn't have any more energy to keep me awake. Not because my body is need to be rested.

If that is true, then sleep is no longer a necessity.. It became an obigation.

Nirvana - Pennyroyal Tea
...
I'm so tired I can't sleep
I'm anemic royalty
I'm a liar and a thief
I'm anemic royalty
...

Last week before the holly Ramadhan,,

2008-08-30T12:01:00.000+07:00

This week is the last week before the holly Ramadhan. And i kinda feel that everyone is moving out their activity schedule to this week. Especially if it was originally scheduled in night, or if it is need a heavy physical activities.

So, this work-hard-party-hard week makes my undergraduate thesis neglected once again..

SUNDAY
* Morning 08.30 - 09.30 AM
Drive my girl to Arjosari terminal. She'll go to Surabaya till wednesday
* Noon 10.00 - 12.00 AM
Friendly futsal match.
Too bad not many people can came. Only 10 man for a whole 2 hours!!!
* Afternoon 04.00 - 06.00
Prepare the material for CSN's Java course. My printer is jammed, so an extra time is needed to print and copy the material.
* Night 07.00 - 08.30
CSN's Java course. Class next to mine is not empty again this time. It is a france language course i suppose. I can hear their funny tone from outside..

MONDAY :
* Morning 09.00 AM - Afternoon 05.00 PM
Desi, Doph and Bam's celebrate their birthday in Jatim Park. I can't believe that is Monday,it's so crowded there. Try the new venue "The Flying Tornado". Makes me dizzy a li'l bit, but It's Sooo AWESOME!! I can feel my adrenaline rush so intense when i ride it. Somethin' that i highly recomend to try.

* Night 07.00 - 09.00 PM
AnD's birthday celebration with "pick yourself what to eat" in Matos food court. And of course all of us pick a different meal. Except Arya who stole my idea to order double chicken at CFC.

TUESDAY :
* Morning 07.00 - 10.00 AM
Wake up, and then sleep again. Not feeling so good and still kinda dizzy by the "Tornado" ride the day before.
* Afternoon 03.00 - 06.00 PM
Prepare the material for CSN's Java course. This time is double meeting, so there's a lot to prepare.
* Night 06.30 - 09.00
CSN's Java course. Double meeting, but fortunately, they all look fine :)

WEDNESDAY :
* Morning 07.30 - 12.00 AM
Badminton match on Watugong court. The last badminton match of the "RabuPagi" group before it's halted in Ramadhan, so everybody is super-pumped, esp Joki who plays 3 matches without a break!!
* Afternoon 04.00 - 05.00 PM
Get a hair cut at Bonny's. I think i've heard someone says that is a good thing if we can get a haircut before the Ramadhan. I don't know if it's true or not. But i just want to do something to celebrate this holly month

THURSDAY :
* Morning 09.00 - 11.00 AM
It's loundry time. It's my first loundry since two weeks ago :). Eww,, i'm sure my Mom will be very angry if she find out about this.. So sorry Mom.
* Afternoon 02.00 - 06.00 PM
Prepare the material for CSN's Java course. Double meeting once again, so a lot to prepare, especially cos i'm not so good with GUI :(
* Night 06.30 - 09.00
CSN's Java course. A lot of thing's to learn today. But, it's going so well cos they're all so enthusiastic about Java's GUI.
* Night 09.30 - 11.00 PM
YM chatting appointment with my fellow Ranger. Too bad gumshoe can't join. Maybe he don't get the invitation message.

FRIDAY :
* Morning 10.00 - 11.30 AM
Goes to CSN to meet my boss and to find out if i can move the rest of my night schedule in 07.00 PM to afternoon in around 03.00 PM. But the class is full in 03.00 PM. So, 01.00 PM is fine then..
* Afternoon 01.00 - 05.00 PM
Is a dating time. I've promise to acompany her shopping in MOG. This is our last time together cos tomorrow she'll back to Surabaya to attend a Job Fair in Tunjungan
* Night 06.30 - 08.00
Still dating time. Dinner in dundee's terrace. The lights surrounds the new football stadium in front of us gives some romantic view.. a very nice concept.

SATURDAY :
* Morning 07.00 - 08.00 AM
Got breakfast together and then ride my girl to Terminal. Gotta go so early in the morning, cos the JOb Fair is started at 10.00, and she don't want to get the last line.
* Morning 09.00 - 11.00 AM
AIESEC's Exchange participant (EP) promo seminar in economic faculty. I got the invitation personally by SMS and it's free. I don't have any reason to not come.

* Noon 11.00 AM - 01.00 PM
Goes to library to get some free internet access. The AIESEC's promo finished at 11.00. So, i can't attend this weird named seminar : "Sambal Blog Dalam Sepiring Tulisan".
* Afternoon 02.00 - 05.00 PM (Scheduled)
Another badminton match.
New opponent will always make a nice fight. So, i don't wanna missed it.

Wew.. btw, after i wrote those list, now i think that i was actually not so on a "thight schedule" after all. And i've should manage some time to do a research or reading to get my thesis on progress.. So, sorry i can't do that. But don't worry hunney, i still remember my promise to finish it on November. Gotta struggle more..

Capital Market 101,,

2008-08-22T09:53:00.000+07:00

My favourite Indonesian politician is Jusuf kalla, the vice-president. I admire and so proud on him and his logical thinkin' about what is this nation needs to improve.

Recently on a Today's Dialogue show about Indonesia's BUMN (a profit institution that owned by the state) future on MetroTV, he easily outspoken the know-it-all-blame-it-all Amien Rais (Indonesia reformation icon politician). I can't remember all details of that debate. But the main idea is like this :

Jusuf Kalla : "Garuda Indonesia is now a profitable company owned by our nation. This company is never gain profit until this year. So now, we need to improved it more by selling some of it's stock share"

Amien Rais : "So the issue about the goverment want to to sell some of it's BUMN is true??"

Jusuf Kalla : "Yes.. In order to advance, we need to do that"

Amien Rais : "i don't know what is the goverment want by selling high profitabel Indonesia's assets like Garuda Indonesia and Indosat and in the same time we manage to keep the always profit-loss company"

Jusuf Kalla : "I have a great respect to you Mr. Amien, but i don't think this conversation will be over. This because you don't know the basic of capital market. To make a company to gain more profit, we need to gain more capital. And to gain more capital, we have to sell some of the stock in the stock market. And an always profit loss company will never can be sold on the stock market. That's why we keep it and improved it first before we sold it to improve them. This case is like the Garuda Indonesia's case. It's a profitable company now, so we can sell it's stock to foreign investor"

(MC) : We'll be right back after the break..

As you might notice,, that the previous conversation is highly improved by my own herb and spices seasoning to make it more fun to read. But still, I think in that show J.K. have give Mr.Amien Rais a capital economy 101 lesson.. a very good one.

Campuss : we accept "donation",,

2008-08-19T22:21:00.000+07:00

Ahahaha.. a very funny jokes were told by my friend a few days ago when we're reading an article in the newspaper about the "massive" amount of fee that the fresh student had to pay to be accepted in seferal "elite" faculty in our campus from the "special way" (jalur khusus) program. She said that PMDK, a student acceptance program without a test, is now sort from "Penerimaan Mahasiswa Dikarenakan Kaya" (roughly translated : student acceptance by the couse of being rich).

I know she became a very sceptical because her sister was almost cought into that "PMDK" program too, and their parent had to pay for about Rp 40 million for being accepted. And still that was not an "elite" faculty either. Luckily, she can manage to be accepted through SPMB, a student acceptance program with a national test, so they don't need pay that amount of money..

So, that story is reminds me about a very interesting story that i've read a few years ago. There's a research about the three categories of Harvard student : the super diligent student, super smart student, and super rich student.
As predicted, the super diligent student got the best grade in college with GP more than 3.5, followed by the super smart student with an average grade, and then the super rich student who got the worst grade.
But then, when they all graduated from Harvard, the condition is became upside-down. Most of the super diligent student got a very strategic position in a multinational company. As a chief technician, chief engineering, marketing manager, etc. But the super smart student got a higher position, as a CEO, president, or vice president in a multinational company. And then, also as predicted before, the super rich student got even higher position : as the board of director or an owner of those multinational company.

This "PMDK" phenomena is maybe will create a condition like those previous story in our campus. But then, is not a bad scenario either. So, i don't think we need to be so sceptical about that. It is normal and logic. Every campus development always need a big amount of money, and the super rich students is always a "quick" source of that "donation". And don't under-estimate the "PMDK" students.. they can be your boss someday. hehehe.. :)

Basic of creativity,,

2008-08-17T00:30:00.000+07:00

One time, my friend asked me.. why d'you write blog? is there any benefit to yourself? It's a simple question actually. But i don't know why, i can't answer that question instantly. I have to think about it a few moment. And then my best answer is this:
"i write blog because "i need" to express myself". And yes, i really mean it when i say "i need". It was me.. i am the one who need to write this blog. The World wide web, or the whole internet society never asked me to write,, and yet i'm still continued to write in here.

The need of expressing ones feeling or though is a basic human social needs. It is something equal to the need to be loved, to be noticed, to be usefull to someone else and so on.
But then, in this case of the need to express feeling or though, human can be very creative, unique and unpredictable. That is,i think, maybe because of the super-complexness and tremendous diversities that can be found in every living human's mind. Therefore, to express his/her own mind, someone might do something that is beautifull, "different" and sometimes really impressive to someone else.

The easiest example is my favourite band, the dashboard Confessional, that writes song with their mind.. a really deep and heart touching lyrics even for a single moment that can be happened in every men's life. Next is Affandi,, an abstract painter. Why did he paint an abstract?? maybe because an abstract is the best way to paint what's in his mind. Joe Satriani, a musician who "plays" his mind so beautifully with his guitar. Mozart with his music. Goerge Lucas and Wachowski brothers (did i spell it correctly??) with their extraordinary movies. J.K. Rowling and Tolkien who write their fantasies world that happened in their minds. Or even Copernicus and Charles Darwin, who are expressed their great though of life with their own theory, even if it was something that is very un-common and different from everyone else.

So, this need to express ourselves is maybe something that God had given to us so we can understand art and beautifullness. It is the need that really important to us to have and maintained. To me, it is a basic for a so called creativity. Because even the earliest art found in this world, a caveman painting in the cave wall, is something that express the painter's mind in that time..

Over-pumped,,

2008-08-09T00:25:00.000+07:00

I was used to think that my english is good,, or even excelent. I can think that way, because from my elementary-school years, i always scores great in english test. In a lot of cases, i even scores best in my class. My toefl was once hit into 580 and toeic got it into 855. So, when i go to this kind of "international education expo" last week, where the representer of the university is mostly foreigners (ussualy australian), i'm pretty confidence that i can chat with them easily. And i do want to chat with them just to prove it.. :)
But first, as a warming up, i go to this table: UNSW (University of New South Wales), hmm,i've once heard 'bout this univ, kinda good one too.. the representer is an indonesian, so a few chit-chat is goin on in my mother language (now known as "bahasa"). After enough know 'bout the main-line of this expo, then i became more confident. Next table is Swinburne Univ. This time i met an India-n girl, her name is Ms. Mashraaj. i read the name plate on her blouse. And here is where the trouble began.. Ms mashraaj english was really a good one, she says it so "loud and clear" that me n my friends there all fully understand what she says when she explained 'bout the postgraduate program in Swinburne. But when i try to responed her with some question, she seemed to have trouble to understand what i say. I have to repeat the question 1-2 times. Do i heard as "strange" or "different" when i said the question?? or do my english is simply screwed up??
The next table and after it even more worse. The representer is australians, and not only they have dificulities to understand to what i said, but also i have trouble to understand what they said too. So there's some missunderstanding happened between us. Luckily the representer is always accompanied by Indonesian from Alfalink, so if the missleading happened between us, they can quickly interupted and explain the problem better for both of us.
Lesson that i can take from that day experience is :: Don't trust too much on test result. In the real world everything is totaly different, and so we have to learn it from the begining once again. For example in toefl test, the test speakers in listening sessions speaks in very clear and excelent english. But, in the real world, english is "rough", fast and conditional. So that we can mastered it only with practicing in the real world. Reminds me 'bout programming too.. the real world is totally diferent from the test pack.
Experience is indeed the best teacher. So, go out and seek it.. :)

For those who can't do = teach!!.

2008-08-08T22:13:00.001+07:00

Besok,, saya mulai kerjaan baru saya, jadi "instruktur" a/k/a, pengajar,mentor, guru, teacher, sensei. Kerjaan yang dulu pernah saya anggep kind of "low" karena citra kualitas pengajar kita yang kurang dan kompensasi yang didapatkan (baca : gaji) yang kurang menjanjikan.
Tapi, itulah satu2nya hal yang bisa saya lakukan sekarang.. dengan skill programming yang masih pas2an dan belum punya gelar apa2, kynya g mungkin juga nekat buka software house, ato jadi programmer freelance gitu. Dan ini bikin saya sadar, mungkin orang2 kayak saya inilah yang bikin jelek citra pengajar. Skill pas2an dan kemauan juga setengah hati. Jadi pengajar cuma karena "daripada gak ada kerjaan lain" ato buat saya "daripada gak ngapa2in" dan "buat cari pengalaman".
Jadi, kerjaan yang seharusnya mulia dan membawa tanggung jawab besar, karena banyak orang bergantung pada kita, jadi dianggep kerjaan yang kurang oke dan "murah". Padahal, Klo dalam perusahaan, direktur digaji paling besar alasannya tentu karena tanggung jawab dan pengalamannya paling besar. Berarti klo dianalogikan, pengajar harusnya jadi profesi yang paling "mahal" dan "tinggi". Tapi itu juga menurut saya cuma cocok buat pengajar yg bener2 mengajarkan sesuatu.. buat yang pas2an kayak saya dan banyak yg lainnya,mungkin prinsip itu memang harus kalah sama hukum ekonomi.
Pikiran saya dulu (secara logis) kira2 versi kasarnya seperti ini : "ngapain saya kerja susah2, nyante2 aja lah, kan gajinya jg g seberapa" dan "yg saya cari kan pengalaman kerja buat saya, murid2nya g ngerti ya whatever lah". Tapi sekarang, setelah kerjaan itu jadi benar2 dekat sama saya, saya jadi paham, dalam hidup ini g ada logika,, memang gajinya kecil, tapi tanggung jawabnya besar sekali, murid2 saya mungkin bergantung 100% pada saya. Dan klo saya bersikap "seenaknya" akan mengecewakan mereka.. Dan gaji juga bukan satu2nya kompensasi yg akan saya dapat. Dari mengajar itu, akan ada banyak pengalaman yang pasti akan bermanfaat, dan juga akan mengasah dan meningkatkan skill saya sendiri.
Kata salah satu dosen saya, Mr. Arif rahman : "ilmu itu kekayaan yang bila diberikan pada orang lain, jumlahnya tidak akan berkurang, tapi malah semakin bertambah"

sensei : sen (previous) + sei (birth).
Sensei = orang yang lebih dahulu lahir. Filosofinya, karena lebih dulu lahir itulah, seseorang jadi lebih ngerti dan lebih berpengalaman, dan akhirnya bisa "ngajarin" orang2 yang lahir belakangan.

Enter d' Matrix

2008-08-08T22:03:00.000+07:00

Kira2 sudah lebih dari 3 minggu sejak terakhir kali saya buka internet. Akses internet saya yg rata2 paling cuma bisa 1 jam perhari lewat hp LG saya yang "super-keren-sekali" itu, harus saya relakan buat dipake yayang yang waktu itu lagi sibuk2-nya nyelesein skripsi. Dan lab komputer di kampus pun juga lagi tutup karena lagi ujian dan libur. Buat ke warnet ato ke tempat2 hotspot lain, paling banter saya cuma bisa sejam-dua jam per minggu..
Selama masa tanpa koneksi internet itu, sebenernya g ada masalah sih, karena waktu itu juga lagi sepi kegiatan. Tapi tetep,, saya merasa ada yang hilang dari diri saya. Yaitu bagian diri saya yang ada di dalam "The MAtrix" ini. Selama tidak ada koneksi internet, otomatis semua identitas diri yang ada di dunia maya saya tinggalkan. KArakter game, alamat email, profile di frenster, blog ini, forum2,, tidak bisa saya akses, padahal semua hal tersebut tanpa disadari merupakan bagian hidup saya. Karakter game bagaikan tampilan dalam kartun 2D tentang karakter di dalam diri kita, alamat email bagaikan alamat rumah dimana kita menerima tamu, profile frenster bagaikan wajah kita yang orang lain lihat saat bertemu,, dst.. dst..
Selama ini "the matrix" atau yang diindonesiakan dengan kurang keren sebagai "dunia maya" sudah menjadi bagian hidup. Sudah hampir tidak "maya" lagi, karena segala sesuatu di dunia elektronik ini sudah semakin dekat dengan kehidupan dan sudah semakin nyata. Di Amerika saya dengar ada seseorang yang dinyatakan bangkrut dan hidupnya hancur karena identitasnya di dunia maya dicuri. Uangnya di dunia nyata hilang, karena rekeningnya di Bank dikuras dan ditutup oleh si pencuri. Bahkan status kewarganegaraannya pun hilang, karena nomer jaminan sosialnya disalahgunakan.
Bukan tidak mungkin, beberapa abad ke depan, kehidupan nyata dan "the matrix" sudah tidak bisa dibedakan lagi,, kita mungkin akan dikenali dari nomer2 yang ada di dunia maya, kita mungkin bekerja juga di dunia maya, bersenang-senang di dunia maya, berinteraksi dengan orang lain lebih jauh di dunia maya juga, bahkan sebagian besar hidup kita dihabiskan di dunia maya. Dengan perkembangan teknologi Virtual Reality yang saya yakin pasti akan terjadi, hal tersebut sangat mungkin terjadi.
"Tidak ada jaman dimana kehidupan manusia stagnan selama lebih dari 100 tahun". Dan misalnya dimasa depan kehidupan manusia memang berubah menjadi semacam itu, maka hal tersebut menurut saya juga bukan kenyataan yang buruk. Bayangkan saja kehidupan seperti film "the matrix" tetapi dengan versi lebih "cerah" dan tanpa perang manusia vs robot. :)

1/100 dari 1 persen..

2008-07-07T20:47:00.000+07:00

Barusan saya liat acara dokumenter di MetroTV, dan salah satu pernyataan yang paling "menggugah" saya bahwa ternyata dalam DNA seluruh manusia di bumi, keragaman yang ditemukan cuma 0,01% dari seluruh rangkaian gen. Jumlah keragaman ini lebih sedikit daripada keragaman genetika yang ditemukan di koloni simpanse pada satu kawasan hutan saja.
Sangat mengherankan, melihat semua jenis manusia di dunia dengan beragam warna kulit, rambut, bentuk muka, tinggi badan, bentuk mata, bahkan pemikiran dsb, ternyata perbedaan2 tersebut cuma "sedalam kulit".
Sisa acara dokumenter yang saya liat itu lebih membahas teori tentang bagaimana "ketidakberagaman" itu terjadi, terutama teori tentang ledakan gunung berapi super di danau Toba yang membuat sebagian besar manusia bumi punah dan cuma menyisakan beberapa ribu manusia di afrika timur yang jadi nenek moyang semua manusia di bumi sekarang.
Hal yang lebih saya pikirkan, yaitu kenyataan bahwa ternyata semua manusia di bumi hampir sama. Secara genetik hanya ada maksimal 0,01% perbedaan. Lalu kenapa kita sangat berbeda?? Guru biologi saya di SMA mengatakan bahwa yang membentuk ciri khas suatu individu itu faktor genetik dan lingkungan. Kalo secara genetik kita sama, berarti perbedaannya cuma pada faktor lingkungan.
Kalo ternyata orang indonesia dianggap kurang produktif dibanding orang jepang misalnya, ternyata yang membentuknya cuma faktor lingkungan. Kalo pikiran kita kurang kritis dibandingkan orang eropa misalnya, ternyata yang membentuknya juga faktor lingkungan. Lingkungan kita yang mayoritas tidak terbiasa bekerja dengan dedikasi tinggi dan berpikir secara kritis dan logis. Lingkungan yang bagaimanapun juga adalah lingkungan kita, lingkungan yang sebaiknya dan seharusnya bisa kita rubah.

black sheep and the lessons..

2008-07-04T22:02:00.000+07:00

Hari ini, hampir 3 minggu sejak panggilan wawancara kerja pertama saya. Tapi sampai sekarang masih ga ada panggilan lagi. Yah okelah, kayaknya saya emang g diterima. Walaupun berat, saya dah ikhlasin. Kenapa berat? yaa, kapan lagi sih ada kerjaan part time yang oke di kota ini. i got the chance.. but, too bad i missed it.
Kayaknya semua syarat2 udah lengkap, proses wawancaranya juga lumayan lancar,, mungkin yang bikin saya gagal itu di ultimate question dari si pewawancaranya: "Jadi, klo anda diterima disini berapa gaji yang anda harapkan??" Dengan penuh pede saya menyebutkan nominal yang lumayan besar..
Oke, seseorang pernah ngomong dengan saya, klo anda mencoba pertama kali, itu belum bisa dikatakan gagal. Berarti saya nggak gagal dong? mungkin masih belum saatnya aja.. dan well, at least i can learn something from it. Dan pelajaran yang paling saya ingat: Jangan minta bayaran gede klo kerjanya part-time, apalagi di tempat kecil. :)

Kenapa pake mahasiswa di acara komedi??

2008-07-04T21:56:00.000+07:00

Acara2 macam republik BBM, republik mimpi, democrazy menurut saya gak lebih dari acara komedi semata. Walaupun ada unsur-unsur politiknya,tapi politik yang ditampilkan juga dikit dan cetek banget.
Lalu kenapa penontonnya harus dari mahasiswa?? lelucon yang ditampilkan disana juga bukan lelucon yang "pintar" yang hanya bisa dicerna oleh kaum berpendidikan (yang dicerminkan dengan mahasiswa tadi). Jadi apa cuma supaya acara itu jadi terangkat prestisenya karena ditonton mahasiswa?
Tambah lagi sekarang acara yang benar2 "komedi bgt" empat mata ikut2 ditonton mahasiswa secara berombongan (baru-baru ini dari UB juga). Para mahasiswa itu,yang datang jauh2, dngan bangganya pake jas almamater, yang menandakan statusnya sebagai mahasiswa itu.
Yang lebih menyebalkan, mahasiswa di acara2 tadi gak lebih cuma sebagai orang yang nonton sambil ketawa2 saja. Saya pikir ga perlu menonjolkan status sebagai mahasiswa kalo disana cuma nonton dan ketawa2 saja.
Oke, acara2 itu emang bagus, menarik, dan saya sendiri juga sering nonton (acara 4 mata malah sering banget nonton,hampir tiap tayang). tapi pas nonton itu, saya bukan sebagai mahasiswa yang pake jas almamater, tapi sebagai orang biasa yang butuh hiburan.
Saya pingin masa bodoh dan sok2 nggak tau, tapi tetep.. karena saya mahasiswa juga, saya merasa bahwa mahasiswa yang pake jas almamater di acara komedi agak merendahkan.

"superman" work..

2008-06-21T20:53:00.000+07:00

Paling ga seminggu sekali saya beli koran. dan yang selalu saya beli,, koran hari sabtu. Alasannya, karena banyak iklan lowongan kerjanya. Walaupun saya masih belum mau lulus, tapi baca2 lowongan kerja kadang2 kerasa menyenangkan buat saya.. seperti bisa ngeliat masa depan, kira2 gimana ya klo ntar lulus aku kerja disana?? kerjanya ntar gini-gini, pindah di kota ini, gajinya segini dst2. Tapiii, kadang2 juga baca iklan lowongan jadi kerasa mindeerr bgt, soalnya lumayan banyak juga nih, perusahaan yang ngasih persyaratan karyawannya g kira2: ajiib, banyaak bgt.. mungkin tuh perusahaan males buat ngembangin karyawan dan langsung nyari "superman" buat ngerjain semuanya.

Contohnya ini nih (ambil dari blog tikabanget.com):

Dibutuhkan segera Database Administrator/Application Developer
Kriteria :
D3/S1 Teknik Informatika/Komputer
Laki-laki max. 30 tahun
Pengalaman min. 2 tahun di bidangnya
Menguasai database Oracle (Oracle Application 11.5.9)
Menguasai RedHat Linux AS 2.1 / 3.0 atau ES 2.1 / 3.0
Menguasai pemrograman dengan VB, Delphi atau Oracle developer
Mempunyai pengalaman menggunakan aplikasi ERP.

She said: "Ada temen sayah bilang, para pencari kerja di Endonesa suka ndak kira kira kalo bikin daftar kriteria pegawainya. Gila aja ituh liat di atas. Jagoan amat ituh bisa menguasai Oracle, Linux, sekaligus pemrograman.."

i just don't get it...

Malang "pernah" sedingin ini

2008-06-21T11:05:00.000+07:00

Akhir2 ini, sperti juga waktu tahun2 sebelumnya, pas mau mulai tahun ajaran baru, kira2 bulan juni-juli. Udara di malang jadi terasa dingiiinn bgt..

Kadang karena suhu udara yg g lazim ini,bikin saya kembali ngerasa terasing di kota ini. serasa kembali lagi ke masa awal dateng ke Malang. Dimana saya waktu itu ngerasa semuanya asing,baru dan gak lazim.. seluruh kota sepertinya mengucilkan saya karena saya bukan bagian darinya. Disini adalah dunia yg baru,yang beda dan yang asing bagi saya. suhu udara yg beda,bahasa yg beda,makanan yg beda,cara berpikir yg beda,kebiasaan yg beda dst.. Saat itu,saya pikir, saya merasa sangat tidak nyaman.

Rasa tidak nyaman yang "simply" karena saya tidak tahu, tidak terbiasa, dan tidak memahami. Karena memang, ini bukan dunia saya. Dunia saya adalah dimana saya bisa merasa nyaman. Dimana saya tahu, terbiasa dan paham dengan semua cara2 yang ada.

Pertanyaan yang muncul: lalu kenapa saya mau meninggalkan semua kenyamanan2 itu dan pindah ke tempat yang membuat saya gak nyaman??, well, pada saat itu juga sebenernya saya sudah menemukan jawabannya. Rasa tidak nyaman karena berada di lingkungan yang baru itu sudah tertutupi oleh perasaan lain yang lebih kuat, dan yang sifatnya positif dan menyenangkan, yaitu perasaan very-very excited, karena telah menemukan hal yang baru, yang beda,yang akan memperkaya wawasan saya, dan yang mungkin akan mengubah hidup saya. Perasaan inilah yang sampai saat ini terus membuat saya kangen dan ingin terus mengejarnya.. Yang membuat saya melupakan semua kejenuhan hidup, yang membuat saya terus bersyukur kepada tuhan YME.

Kemampuan untuk menemukan dan mempelajari hal baru.. mungkin inilah anugrah terbesar bagi umat manusia. Dan tuhan pun menjadikannya sebuah "passion", sehingga tak terhitung banyaknya manusia yang bekerja sangat keras, bepergian ribuan kilometer, membaca ratusan buku, melihat dan mendengar jutaan cerita dan sebagainya, demi untuk mendapatkan perasaan telah menemukan dan mempelajari hal baru tadi. Sebuah "passion" yang sangat kuat, sehingga manusia rela meninggalkan semua kenyamanan dan kemapanannya demi untuk merasakan perasaan itu.. dan,sekali lagi, perasaan yang sampai saat ini terus membuat saya kangen dan ingin terus mengejarnya.

NasGor = indonesian fastfood??

2008-06-13T22:52:00.000+07:00

Beberapa waktu lalu,saya sama beberapa temen lagi jalan2 di mall yang baru aja buka di malang.Pas lagi bingung mau nyari makan, salah seorang temen saya usul buat makan di sebuah tempat makan fast food di tempat itu aja,KFC. Alasan dia waktu itu sih, karena disana makanannya udah terjamin,enak dan nunggunya ga pake lama. Tapi.. ya gitu,yang lainnya pada ga mau, ada yg alesan (dengan sok2 pasang muka pinter) bahwa fast food itu gak baik bgt buat kesehatan,ayamnya disuntik hormon macem2,kadar garam dan gulanya terlalu tinggi,gizinya gak lengkap,terlalu banyak lemak dan kolesterol,banyak pake penyedap rasa,MSG,kurang sayuran dst. temen saya yg lain lagi (dengan tampang innocent dan memelas) cuma kasih satu alasan yang singkat:"disana kan muahaaal..".

akhirnyaaa,karena semangat kebersamaan yg tinggi, kita g jadi makan fast food.Tapi kembali lagi ke daerah sekitar kampus, dan makan layaknya anak kos: nasi goreng yang dijual pake gerobak dorong. Anehnya, pas makan nasgor yg cukup maknyuss itu,kayaknya ada feeling2 aneh di otak, rasa dejavu dengan obrolan pas mau ke fastfood tadi. Soalnya alasan kita makan di nasgor gerobak dorong yaa karena, makanannya enak,dan nunggunya g pake lama. Dan setelah dipikir2 lagi, sebenernya nasgor itu juga gak kalah buruk buat kesehatan daripada fastfood karena alasan yang sama: banyak pake penyedap rasa,MSG,kadar garam dan gulanya terlalu tinggi,gizinya gak lengkap,terlalu banyak lemak dan kolesterol,kurang sayuran dst. dan harganya sekarang juga lumayan mahal,yg pake telor 6 ribu. bandingin sama nasi+sayur+lauk di warung2 biasa.

Mungkin satu2nya yg beda antara nasgor gerobak dorong sama fastfood tadi ya cuma kelasnya aja.Yg fastfood,mungkin karena impor,jadi lebih high class,padahal di tpt asalnya sono,fast food juga jadi makanan kelas pekerja. Wah, jadi sebenernya sama aja dong.. dan disini kok semuanya sama2 laku ya!? jadi mungkin aja nih, klo ada yg inisiatif buat mengekspor beberapa biji gerobak dorong nasgor ke amerika,disana bisa laku juga.. heheehe..:smile:

"as smart as they are"

2008-06-13T22:50:00.000+07:00

Suatu kali saya berdebat dengan teman2 tentang kualitas sumber daya manusia Indonesia. Salah satu teman saya (yg saya rasa jiwa nasionalismenya paling tinggi, dan kayaknya mengidolakan suharto..) mengatakan bahwa selain Indonesia ini negri yg alamnya kaya, juga punya kualitas sumber daya manusia yg hebat. Tidak kalah dengan negara2 eropa. Orang indonesia itu pinter2,cerdas2, sopan santun dan berakhlak mulia. Dengan penuh semangat dia cerita, lengkap dengan cerita2 luar biasa, kisah nyata ttg orang2 indonesia yg pinter2 dan hebat2 itu. Tetapi teman saya yg satu lagi (yg saya rasa pikirannya selalu pesimis dan negatif ttg negri kita), bilang bahwa masyarakat kita ini bila dibandingkan dengan orang luar negri sangat jauh tertinggal. kita ini bodoh,males, gampang dipengaruhi, akhlaknya jelek, males, tidak berperikemanusiaan, males, dsb2.. lengkap dengan lebih byk lg cerita2 ttg kemalasan dan kenegatifan orang2 indonesia. Bagi saya, pernyataan teman saya yg kedua ini terasa lebih benar..

Beberapa jam setelah perdebatan itu,saat lg sendirian d kamar,saya berpikir,apakah pernyataan teman saya yg pesimis itu memang benar?apakah kita ini terlahir bodoh dan lebih rendah dari bangsa lain?? klo tidak bodoh, apakah kita terlahir dengan sifat2 jelek seperti malas,gampang dipengaruhi, pasrah, kurang peduli dsb2?? sehingga bangsa kita makin terpuruk sementara bangsa2 lain terus maju?
Baru beberapa saat kemudian, saya baru teringat dengan cerita2 teman saya yg pertama. Banyak juga sodara2 kita sesama indonesia yg pinter2 dan hebat2, yg jd peneliti dan periset kelas dunia, yg menang lomba ini-itu tingkat internsional,yg jd CEO di perusahaan2 gede,yg mulai bisnis dari nol sampe bisa jd milyuner,yg dapat gelar S3 dari luar negri dst2.. bukankah mereka juga sama seperti kita?dan jumlah mereka juga banyak, berarti kita bukan bangsa yg jelek. saya percaya kita semua dilahirkan dengan kebaikan2.

Kekurangan,kekalahan dan sifat2 jelek bangsa ini,kalaupun ada,itu bukan takdir.Kita dilahirkan sederajat dengan bangsa lain. saya baru inget pernah membaca sebuah pernyataan yg bagus sekali dari blog AIESEC, yg ditulis oleh orang yg bener2 telah berinteraksi dengan orang2 dari negara lain.

""I found that actually, we are as smart as them. What we are thinking in terms of strategy and initiatives is just like what we're thinking. So, what makes them grow so fast and we're not.
I started to reflect and the answer, I think, it's because we're rarely push ourselves to the limit. Rarely achieving what we should have achieved and often compromising with it. Try to reason why we cannot achieve it.""

dan emang bener sih,klo kita merasa gagal,jelek,gak pantas,kurang pintar,kurang maju ato dalam hal ini kurang maju dibanding negara lain, hal inilah yang seharusnya kita pertanyakan,"do we had pushed ourselves to the limit??", do we had work our best to achieved our goals?? or we just compromising and looked down on it?? or even worst, we blame to other factor...