Sometimes when I remember of how is my 2 months preparation before I go here in New Delhi, it's feels like really over-reacted now. But well, it's understandable, because this was my first time to go abroad. Without knowing anything of how is the condition and the people of this country, without any relatives or friends, without any backup plans if there's something wrong with flights, the company, or with the place that I'll stay. By that time, I remember that I'm so worried about everything.. Or to be more precise: I feel fear about all the "going to India for 5 months" things.
Now I've been here in New Delhi for 3.5 months.. And seeing what I am now, seems like there's nothing more to worried about in this country. Yes, maybe it was really difficult for me at the first month, but I really feel like home now. I can laugh at my unreasonable fright before and can really enjoy my time here. And so once again I've found my comfort zone.
To me those experience of once feel afraid, and then realize that I have conquer the very things that make me afraid, is really priceless. It is one of the greatest impact that I get from this "journey".
Right now, inside myself, I can feel that I have a lot more stocks of courage and confidence to face anything. So, next time If i'm feel afraid or worried about the uncertainty of the future that we can't predict. I can remember this moment and realize that actually the only things to fear is fear itself.. There's no reason to step away if we didn't face the problem yet!!
No one can predict the future.. So what?? just drive on it!
And in a few days I will have my first Ramadhan here by myself. Am I feel worried about that?? seems like not at all. I know that I will have a lot of difficulities just to keep my fasting 'on tracks', but I even kind of expected and feel glad and happy about this. Because I believe it can increase and thickening my religious life. I also hope that in this precious moment I can show my grateful feeling to God whose been give me a great challenge, experience and help me with all the difficulities in this life. I hope.