my December,,

It's December already..

I hate December. especially on this year.. To me December is always feels like a deadline for all the things i've planned to achieve in one year.

And this year, i still don't achieve anything.. even one..

This year have really spoiled me. I'm on my comfort zone..

Arghhh.. gotta STRUGGLE more and "get out" of this comfortness.

...
this is my december
these are my snow covered dreams
this is me pretending
this is all i need
... (Linkin Park - My December)

Been livin' for 22 years,,,

Today is my 22nd birthday.. well, nothing special actually. Its just like any other day,, except the fact that i'm receiving more text messages today and some birthday gifts (heyy, being 22 doesn't mean that you stop receving birthday gifts, right? :))

First present is from my father. Like usual, he asked me first what i want for my birthday.. I just lost my flashdisk few weeks ago, so i said to my father that i think i need a new one. Then, he said "Okay, i'll send the money, just buy yourself whatever nice to you". Erghh... kinda tragic actually, but its okay, i always prefer to choose my own stuff. And you know what!? after i checked on some computer stores around campuss, i found out that now an 8 GB flashdisk is only cost Rp.155.000.. Its the same price with my old 2GB when i bought it about a years ago.

Second is from my Mother and sister,, They bought me this very nice perfume, a Hugo Boss's Soul. it comes in a very stylish packaging.. My sis describe the scent as "spicy" ?.?
hehe,, a very nice idea.. i'm not accostumed to use one actually, but maybe they think that i'm now too old to just using a deodorant spray.

The special gift is offcourse from my girlfriend,, :). She took a day off from her work and comes to Malang this morning just to meet me,, We spend the morning, the noon, and the afternoon together.. something that i'm rarely get nowadays..
Before i ride her to terminal to go back to Surabaya, i have a chance to take this cute pict when she act like a japanese girls wearing a kimono, hehe,,
heyy,, she IS look like a japanese girl right..

Last but not least is a surprise present from a stranger that i met in my english course at TBI yesterday. So, that day is my first day, and when we're having a lil' bit of chit-chat, he asked me where's my school!! So, he thinks that i'm a highschool student.. Hohohoho,,
Well, okay, that's not a present, it's just coincident. But a very weird coincident, because its happened just a day before my 22nd birthday.. So, i think i can take it as a present from my Protector. Alhamdulillahi Robbil'alamiin.. :)
Younger than my age?? ?.?

Sempai's pride,,

This story began with my boss at CSN asked me to handle the adobe photoshop class. Heyy, i'm kinda newbie in graphic design too,, but OK, i still accepted it. I think this will give me a new point of view. It can force me to learn photoshop. And i'm feeling a little bored with all those programming things either.
The only problem is, that we in CSN still don't have any books or guidelines for this course's curiculum. So i gotta create it myself.
At first i'm very confused on how to create it.. I have a lot of books that have a lot of tips like how to use lasso tools, how to manipulate colors, how to separate channels etc. It's very nice and tidy, except a fact that actually after we read and practice on it, we still don't know how to create somethin'... So then i came up with these idea: "The best way to be good in somethin' is by doing it." So, i throw all those "how-to" books and started it with my own method. By give a small project every course meeting. Started with simple project and then improve the dificulities over time.
How's the result?? Well, i think it did it.. with practical method like that, after a course is finished, the students will be tough that they are not only just understand the photoshop's basic, but also feel like they have done somethin', -or in this case- have "design" somethin'.
Like in our 4th meeting. When i have to show them how to use a "texture manipulation tools" in photoshop like "Healing tool", "clone stamp tool", "dodge and burn tool" and "blur tool".

Instead of explain how to use those tools one by one, I make this picture enhancement project:
I have a nice oldman picture that i got from the internet, and with all those tools, i show them how to make the man on the picture looks "younger" and "brighter".

(Notice the wrinkles around the old-man's eyes, nose and mouth are gone)
Heyy, it works right.. With "directly" use those tools to create somethin', they have more understanding than just a theory. And off course it is a lot more fun.

Harmony in Chaos,,

Today is the third day since the traffic light in ITN crossroads(next to Brawijaya University) is not functioned. Although it is located in one of Malang busiest road, but there's no one from the public office have fixed it.

I've passed the Sumbersari street that lead to ITN crossroad almost everyday. And i have to say that this is a very busy crossroad. In rush hour, almost certain a traffic jam will surely happen there.. All the road that lead to the crossroad are tiny, and only consists of two lines. But yet, there were thousands of people who passed those roads everyday. So, a long queue in the crossroad's traffic light is something very common there. Sometime, we even have to wait for three red light stops before we can pass the crossroad.

But then,, after the traffic lights is broke down, i just recognize that actually, without the traffic light, the road is became less dense, and passing the crossroad is faster now. We don't have to wait until the traffic lights turns green. All we have to do is just reduce speed when facing the crossroad, sometime gives an opportunity to other people and after that we can step on the gass again. That simple.
Yes, i have to admit that it looks kinda un-order and less neat there, but what the heck.. The main porpose of a road is to connect some place to the other. And the faster it can go, it will be better.

So, againts all odds, the traffic lights is on the contrary, will makes a traffic jam in the crossroad. And without it, it is far more swifter.. a harmony in chaos i suppose. I'm sure you'll know what i mean if you've passed that crossroad everyday (before and after the traffic lights is off)

There's no "we" anymore,,

There's no "We" anymore. It's only "you" and "me"... After all these things "we"ve" been trough..

i don't like it either,, but what more can i say??

dead end,,

i'm facin' a dead end right now.. it's not a very big problem actually. Like when i'm find any other dead end in the road,, there will always be 2 way to solve it.

first choice, is to make a U-turn and return from the starting point once again. It's more simple and safer option. the only problem is that this option will require more time,, especially when you've been drivin for a long time to get in your position right now. To make a U-turn will be a bad choice for someone who have a tight deadline.

second choice, is to keep goin' and find an alternative to go trough the dead end. Something like when your road is end up in a jungle and then you got off from vehicle and walk to emerge that jungle. It's very risky, need more effort to do and there's no guarantee that you'll find your destination. But, if you're already know in what direction your destination is. This will make a good option.

So, the choice is clear. the solution is right ahead. and the distination is waiting,, but still, this is always a hard decision..

No one know what will happen.. Well, I guess i just have to believe to my Protector, and maybe lay it like my old friend's sayin':: Puka puka (what will be, will be) :)

Good stress??,,,

Ever feel that you got not enough time to finish your task? feel that there's no end line in the things you have to do? doesn't have time to do your favourite activity? or feel that time is chasin over you?

If you feel those everyday.. so there's a big chance you'll be stressed or even depressed in a few week. But then,, this modern lifestyle is always a hectic, busy and filled with a lot of things to do. So stressed out is now a common thing that happened in every man's life. It is now become something normal.

Most people still cosidered stress as a bad thing. But few days earlier, i found this very nice article in a magazine.. It says that stress is actually a very good thing if we can manage it.

Well, i can't write all of the article in here,, but somethin that i really noticed is that stress is actually can drive us to achieve a better result in our work. Because stressed or hectic people is more motivated and alerted in doing the task compared to people who are have more spare time. It also said that stressed people can utilise more potential that he/she may have to achieve the goal.
So.. just take it, do it all and don't be affraid with stress, people.. it "can be dealt with" and is usefull too..

BIG problem,,

Oh my God, this is gonna be a BIG thing..

that is the first thing comes from my mind after "once again" my girlfriend have found me lie to her.
And it's the 3rd times i've cought lie to her for the same reason.

What makes me feel even worse is because actually, i don't even really need to lie. It's not a serious problem. I can just tell her the truth. And i'm sure she can understand with my condition.
But, i'm not doin' it... i skipped this "explaining to my girl" process and decided to tell her a fake story.

When i lie to her, i'm not feel like i am doing a very bad thing. But now,,after she found out the truth. I feel so much guilty about that. i wish i can turn back the time and fix my mistake..

Because eventough it is not a big lie. But in a man-women relationship, where to trust and openess to each other is a basic, lie is always a BIG problem..

Less than enough,,

So tired but I can't sleep..

I can't remember since when this is happening to me...
maybe for this last couple of month, i can't sleep below late 1 o'clock no matter how tired or sleepy i am.

A lot of things to do yesterday. So, i was sleeping for only 4 hours within a day and yet this night i still can't rest my mind.
Now i began to think that maybe the only reason why i'm sleeping is just because my body doesn't have any more energy to keep me awake. Not because my body is need to be rested.

If that is true, then sleep is no longer a necessity.. It became an obigation.

Nirvana - Pennyroyal Tea
...
I'm so tired I can't sleep
I'm anemic royalty
I'm a liar and a thief
I'm anemic royalty
...

Last week before the holly Ramadhan,,

This week is the last week before the holly Ramadhan. And i kinda feel that everyone is moving out their activity schedule to this week. Especially if it was originally scheduled in night, or if it is need a heavy physical activities.

So, this work-hard-party-hard week makes my undergraduate thesis neglected once again..

SUNDAY
* Morning 08.30 - 09.30 AM
Drive my girl to Arjosari terminal. She'll go to Surabaya till wednesday
* Noon 10.00 - 12.00 AM
Friendly futsal match.
Too bad not many people can came. Only 10 man for a whole 2 hours!!!
* Afternoon 04.00 - 06.00
Prepare the material for CSN's Java course. My printer is jammed, so an extra time is needed to print and copy the material.
* Night 07.00 - 08.30
CSN's Java course. Class next to mine is not empty again this time. It is a france language course i suppose. I can hear their funny tone from outside..

MONDAY :
* Morning 09.00 AM - Afternoon 05.00 PM
Desi, Doph and Bam's celebrate their birthday in Jatim Park. I can't believe that is Monday,it's so crowded there. Try the new venue "The Flying Tornado". Makes me dizzy a li'l bit, but It's Sooo AWESOME!! I can feel my adrenaline rush so intense when i ride it. Somethin' that i highly recomend to try.

* Night 07.00 - 09.00 PM
AnD's birthday celebration with "pick yourself what to eat" in Matos food court. And of course all of us pick a different meal. Except Arya who stole my idea to order double chicken at CFC.

TUESDAY :
* Morning 07.00 - 10.00 AM
Wake up, and then sleep again. Not feeling so good and still kinda dizzy by the "Tornado" ride the day before.
* Afternoon 03.00 - 06.00 PM
Prepare the material for CSN's Java course. This time is double meeting, so there's a lot to prepare.
* Night 06.30 - 09.00
CSN's Java course. Double meeting, but fortunately, they all look fine :)

WEDNESDAY :
* Morning 07.30 - 12.00 AM
Badminton match on Watugong court. The last badminton match of the "RabuPagi" group before it's halted in Ramadhan, so everybody is super-pumped, esp Joki who plays 3 matches without a break!!
* Afternoon 04.00 - 05.00 PM
Get a hair cut at Bonny's. I think i've heard someone says that is a good thing if we can get a haircut before the Ramadhan. I don't know if it's true or not. But i just want to do something to celebrate this holly month

THURSDAY :
* Morning 09.00 - 11.00 AM
It's loundry time. It's my first loundry since two weeks ago :). Eww,, i'm sure my Mom will be very angry if she find out about this.. So sorry Mom.
* Afternoon 02.00 - 06.00 PM
Prepare the material for CSN's Java course. Double meeting once again, so a lot to prepare, especially cos i'm not so good with GUI :(
* Night 06.30 - 09.00
CSN's Java course. A lot of thing's to learn today. But, it's going so well cos they're all so enthusiastic about Java's GUI.
* Night 09.30 - 11.00 PM
YM chatting appointment with my fellow Ranger. Too bad gumshoe can't join. Maybe he don't get the invitation message.

FRIDAY :
* Morning 10.00 - 11.30 AM
Goes to CSN to meet my boss and to find out if i can move the rest of my night schedule in 07.00 PM to afternoon in around 03.00 PM. But the class is full in 03.00 PM. So, 01.00 PM is fine then..
* Afternoon 01.00 - 05.00 PM
Is a dating time. I've promise to acompany her shopping in MOG. This is our last time together cos tomorrow she'll back to Surabaya to attend a Job Fair in Tunjungan
* Night 06.30 - 08.00
Still dating time. Dinner in dundee's terrace. The lights surrounds the new football stadium in front of us gives some romantic view.. a very nice concept.

SATURDAY :
* Morning 07.00 - 08.00 AM
Got breakfast together and then ride my girl to Terminal. Gotta go so early in the morning, cos the JOb Fair is started at 10.00, and she don't want to get the last line.
* Morning 09.00 - 11.00 AM
AIESEC's Exchange participant (EP) promo seminar in economic faculty. I got the invitation personally by SMS and it's free. I don't have any reason to not come.

* Noon 11.00 AM - 01.00 PM
Goes to library to get some free internet access. The AIESEC's promo finished at 11.00. So, i can't attend this weird named seminar : "Sambal Blog Dalam Sepiring Tulisan".
* Afternoon 02.00 - 05.00 PM (Scheduled)
Another badminton match.
New opponent will always make a nice fight. So, i don't wanna missed it.

Wew.. btw, after i wrote those list, now i think that i was actually not so on a "thight schedule" after all.  And i've should manage some time to do a research or reading to get my thesis on progress..  So, sorry i can't do that. But don't worry hunney, i still remember my promise to finish it on November. Gotta struggle more..

Capital Market 101,,

My favourite Indonesian politician is Jusuf kalla, the vice-president. I admire and so proud on him and his logical thinkin' about what is this nation needs to improve.

Recently on a Today's Dialogue show about Indonesia's BUMN (a profit institution that owned by the state) future on MetroTV, he easily outspoken the know-it-all-blame-it-all Amien Rais (Indonesia reformation icon politician). I can't remember all details of that debate. But the main idea is like this :

Jusuf Kalla : "Garuda Indonesia is now a profitable company owned by our nation. This company is never gain profit until this year. So now, we need to improved it more by selling some of it's stock share"

Amien Rais : "So the issue about the goverment want to to sell some of it's BUMN is true??"

Jusuf Kalla : "Yes.. In order to advance, we need to do that"

Amien Rais : "i don't know what is the goverment want by selling high profitabel Indonesia's assets like Garuda Indonesia and Indosat and in the same time we manage to keep the always profit-loss company"

Jusuf Kalla : "I have a great respect to you Mr. Amien, but i don't think this conversation will be over. This because you don't know the basic of capital market. To make a company to gain more profit, we need to gain more capital. And to gain more capital, we have to sell some of the stock in the stock market. And an always profit loss company will never can be sold on the stock market. That's why we keep it and improved it first before we sold it to improve them. This case is like the Garuda Indonesia's case. It's a profitable company now, so we can sell it's stock to foreign investor"

(MC) : We'll be right back after the break..

As you might notice,, that the previous conversation is highly improved by my own herb and spices seasoning to make it more fun to read. But still, I think in that show J.K. have give Mr.Amien Rais a capital economy 101 lesson.. a very good one.

Campuss : we accept "donation",,

Ahahaha.. a very funny jokes were told by my friend a few days ago when we're reading an article in the newspaper about the "massive" amount of fee that the fresh student had to pay to be accepted in seferal "elite" faculty in our campus from the "special way" (jalur khusus) program. She said that PMDK, a student acceptance program without a test, is now sort from "Penerimaan Mahasiswa Dikarenakan Kaya" (roughly translated : student acceptance by the couse of being rich).

I know she became a very sceptical because her sister was almost cought into that "PMDK" program too, and their parent had to pay for about Rp 40 million for being accepted. And still that was not an "elite" faculty either. Luckily, she can manage to be accepted through SPMB, a student acceptance program with a national test, so they don't need pay that amount of money..

So, that story is reminds me about a very interesting story that i've read a few years ago. There's a research about the three categories of Harvard student : the super diligent student, super smart student, and super rich student.
As predicted, the super diligent student got the best grade in college with GP more than 3.5, followed by the super smart student with an average grade, and then the super rich student who got the worst grade.
But then, when they all graduated from Harvard, the condition is became upside-down. Most of the super diligent student got a very strategic position in a multinational company. As a chief technician, chief engineering, marketing manager, etc. But the super smart student got a higher position, as a CEO, president, or vice president in a multinational company. And then, also as predicted before, the super rich student got even higher position : as the board of director or an owner of those multinational company.

This "PMDK" phenomena is maybe will create a condition like those previous story in our campus. But then, is not a bad scenario either. So, i don't think we need to be so sceptical about that. It is normal and logic. Every campus development always need a big amount of money, and the super rich students is always a "quick" source of that "donation". And don't under-estimate the "PMDK" students.. they can be your boss someday. hehehe.. :)